I don’t like to plan, so much to do. Grand aspirations only seem to disappoint. The tedious artistic attitude, dissatisfied with work. I appreciate the positives regardless of the height. Nothing competes with the feeling of creation. Something new and alive, glimpsed through the pane.
It is difficult, I am difficult. Thinking back to past relationships I see my faults. I see my wrongs in the darkest manner. Thinking forward as a person of growth I see the changes needed. I want to evolve, I want to be better. Here I am.
In 4th grade the cutest little girl used to ride on our bus. I tried to sit near her as we all did, she was the sun. She laughed, entertained and generally brightened each day. One winter morning she looked into my eyes and said, “You are like a very sad old man.” My heart collapsed even as other children erupted in laughter.
Those words haunted me across the years. I have tried to be upbeat and find my own laughter. In the end the cute little prophet had it right.